Swimming Music

I believe in mistakes and accidents
That the nature of life is chaos and confusion
That man's rules of law and order may not stand
I should be and be not afraid to reach for heaven

I may think that I know the true hearts needs
My pride may bring me low, unable to see
No closer than yesterday, but tomorrow I may stand
Be and be not afraid to reach for heaven

I'll see the black eyed cavalcade, lights on in the morn
I'll run fast and far away, I'll run without stopping
Till heart and feet fail or until I can stand
Be and be not afraid
Be and be not afraid
Be and be not afraid to reach for heaven
-tracy chapman: where you live

I bought that album today; sometimes there's music so beautiful I wish I could swim in it.

Pound It Week 2: Chokers

Season Record: 2-4

After meeting up at Dad and Jill's house for some pre-game chili and hot dogs, Team Pound It showed up with marked determination to out-do last week's performance against old Sandbox archrivals! Only two of us (again) donning our unforms (kudos to you, Matt!) we picked up our pace quickly and beat them handily the first two games with our 5 players and few cheerleaders; it was a real skeleton crew.

Turns out that spotting the other team ten points right off the bat isn't a good idea. That's what we did in the third game. We still made it a barn-burner, eventually losing that game 14-16. Ouch. Even losing the third game didn't bring us too far down, though. Our team moral was much better this week. Yay!

We missed our fans who couldn't join us and thought fondly of Mom and Grandma on the plane to Sacremento; hope that trip went quickly and safely!

Castlewood VI.

Reflection
----------------

Lisa ditched us. Hope you enjoyed your "drive", Brown. OK, just kidding.

Today Carrie and I worked on putting together pieces I haven't been able to get. We both made it up the nasty root section at the bottom of Grotpeter; but I couldn't hang on to clear the rock/roots on the other side. I also choked on the switchback on the climb back up. I bounced up the bottom of Cardiac and didn't make it up to my current "best" past the railroad tie. Carrie's got video of me laming up and quitting. Ugh.

We took a trail we'd never tried (the Parking Lot Cutoff) on Grotpeter. Turns out it comes out on a story of steep, weirdly spaced, railroad tie steps. Surprising, but fun and ridable. A nice quick little trail if you're looking to do hill repeats of the Grotpeter "step" section...

Later, we road our fixed gears for an hour and visited PJ and Joe (other avid cyclists). I won two out of the three "city limit sprints"; but to be fair we really only raced to one sign (and I forgot I was on a fixed gear and almost bit it as I tried to coast post-sprint--duh!).

Blah, blah, blah.
Tired legs, and according to my heart rate monitor , I burned 2348 calories (which I quickly made up with soup, quesadillas, chili and hot dog, chocolate peanut butter sandwich cookies, a few bites of a frozen waffle, ritz crackers and pretzels).

Castlewood V.

Lisa and I got a ride in this morning, enough to justify another syrupy coffee drink from QT (I think I'm addicted!). It was chilly, but "Lone Wolf" warmed us up quickly. Lisa made it up the monster hill with one stop and then we cruised down the back side. I fell too much on stupid fallen trees and roots. Good rides and Lisa really "got to know" her new pedals (well, really, just one of them in particular) and improved greatly. Can't wait to get her out there again.

28 Years: Happy Birthday, Brother

Today is Matt's birthday. I was 3 when he was born. I do not remember it. He was very little, I remember a picture of Dad holding him in one hand. Tiny. What was it? Three months premature? Early, early, early.
Now he's my "big" brother.

Happy birthday, Matt. I get all teary thinking about how important you are to me, to us. I'll spare you the gushy, sentimental stuff (or I'll spare myself and the rest of the family); but I love you much. You're my favorite brother ever.

Honestly.

Castlewood IV.

More PMS. Lisa joined us today! (and so did Matt). Good rides today, chilly and a bit "sticky". Every ride is a good ride.

Castlewood III.

PMS week. Ugh. I took Carrie out to Blue Ribbon (still muddy!). She took video of me finishing the trail and if I can figure it out, I'll post it, too.

Pound It Week 1: Losers

Season Record: 0-3
Today we began the season in prime style: only a couple of us donning our uniforms (props to Bill), Jill and two of our prized fans were missing, arguments on the court, Andi's kill to win the third game was robbed due to the fluke ricochet (consequently followed by me shanking the next serve). 911! Ugh.

I think we can all agree that the competition was great, though, and once I reign in my super-annoying-competitiveness we will have fun again and Mom and Mary Kay will hopefully come back to cheer us on. I am sore today, shoulders, back, quads, abs. Awesome.

It also allowed me some time to reflect on my "List for 2006" (scroll down to see the actual list); I'd like to add:
-remember that Sunday volleyball is about quality time with my family; I intend to play for fun

Andi, you were on fire with your hitting in that last game (I was jealous) and I shouldn't have given you trouble about the tipping thing. Can we all play for fun? No coaching, just encouragement. Should we start doing more group hugs? Butt-slapping?

Suggestions? Post a comment by clicking on the link directly below this text box.

Castelwood II. (solo)

By myself today. Muddy. Fell– my handlebars broke my fall (in my abdomen)– and because I chose the muddiest-out-of-the-way-trail ("Blue Ribbon") no one was there to see me almost cry. (sob, sob). Finished that ride up and took on a cleaner, busier, front trail; got a flat and hiked the last half-mile. In the end, I had a great time and was glad to have done it.
Even if it was all by myself.

Castlewood I.

This morning started at a groggy 6am (early for me); I stumble into biking clothes I set out last night and we kick out the door while it's still dark. Headed over to QT for my sugar-syrupy-mocha-drink and then made it to Castlewood by the time the sun came up. Chilly.

This is a great Thursday. I am happy. Extremely, selfishly happy.

My list for 2006:
struggle less against things I have no (or little) control over: traffic, childrens' moods, other peoples' happiness and health…
eat cleanly, simply and for nourishment
eat more raw fruit and vegetables
stay fit, stay healthy
learn to race bicycles and race well
live honestly and give more freely (just a bit more than feels comfortable)
drive a car only when necessary (walk or ride everywhere else)
understand the difference between sponteneity and stupidity
stay true to my word
keep learning– old and new
sleep as much as I need
document my life with pictures– print, organize, keep and look at them
continue to simplify with the "buy one, get rid of one" mentality
learn to swim for distance
practice yoga
reflect daily
communicate with my family and always tel them how much they mean to me
send birthday/thank you/etc. cards
paint (and think of it with fondness)
live always to make memories

Epiphany

Ten days into our new year I'm remembering how January is such a good blank slate on which to hang our hopes for the time to come. A lesson I've learned recently is the importance of not simply dreaming, but completing and finding peace with what came before.

I'll try to spare us all the fluffy, feel-good, yoga-esque mantras that tend to accompany such talk. New Year's Resolutions? Maybe. Pick the small steps that pave your way to a peaceful, yet brave, approach to this new time. This concept comes largely from a recent post on Superhero Journal. Thank you, Andrea for your constant inspiration.

Here are my mantras:
"Keep not standing fixed and rooted. Briskly venture, briskly roam"

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."

“The soul, like the moon, is new, and always new again.”

Sadly, I can't take much credit in finding them; an artist has engraved them on jewelry. I just read them and wanted them egraved in me.

Happy New Year.

Painting Project: Iterations

I'm trying to get out of a painting rut. Really, I'm trying to figure out how to paint. Every session ends in frustration. Blah. Dave mentioned an old illustration assignment where we would draw a single object 100 times. I thought I might do that; but it seemed a bit rediculous. Drawing an object can take 30 seconds and a quick painting for me would be about 15 minutes. So, with little consideration of math, I decided to tackle it a different way:

5-10 paintings of 5 different objects.

Because drawing didn't take color into consideration, multiple objects get out of relying on a repetitive color palette. Figuring out how to combine colors is one of my issues. Also, different objects allow me to explore different textures, folds, etc. Tackling my problems slowly by adding complexity one object at a time.

My first object was a dog squeaky toy. It's ugly. I have no ambition to frame or hang it. This helps me get around pressures painting it prettily; this helps loosen me up. It was a good exercise over the course of about 4 hours; a few interuptions, but most of it was spent painting and reflecting. Here's the breakdown as I consciously tried to pare down how much time I was "dwelling" on a particular painting:

1. 7x7 inch: 1 hour
2. 5x5 inch: 45 minutes
3. 5x5 inch: 30 minutes
4. 5x7 inch: 15 minutes
5. 5x7 inch: 20 minutes

MTB Weekend

Due to the fab weather this weekend, we couldn't help but spend 90% of it in the woods. OK, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm a bit sore from the all the activity (biking and otherwise). Saturday was Castlewood with our good friend Lisa Brown. There are some post-ride pics at my Flickr site, too.

Sunday started at the climbing gym with Carrie and ended near sunset at Greensfelder park. This park is pretty much right behind the Screamin' Eagle at Six Flags. That was way fun and tough. I was wiped out by Carrie's "short loop" to end on--we ended on a mainly uphill horse trail that was worse than riding up some of the rock gardens (which I'll have to get a picture of soon).

So, given the fun I had this weekend, I'm hoping to ride in the woods (on average) twice a week this year. Lofty goal. I'll keep you posted.